Today I spent a relaxing day at Cocoa beach catching up on some reading and of course working on my tan. As I began to observe all of the things going on around me I started thinking about what proper “beach etiquette” would mean to me. Here are some things I came up with:
- 1. Please DO NOT feed the seagulls! There is nothing worse than relaxing with a good book and the people next to you start throwing bread crumbs and chips to those disgusting little birds. Before you know it 1,000 seagulls are swarming around you, wings are clipping the top of your head, you have to put all of your snacks out of sight and then the poop starts flying. Yuck!
- 2. Refrain from any type of running near where people are laying and please tell your children to do the same. There is nothing like dosing off and getting awakened by being pelted with sand.
- 3. Refrain from shaking your towel downwind from people lying on the beach for the same reason that I stated above.
- 4. Old men should throw away that Speedo they have been wearing for the past 20 years. The same goes for the big women in the itty bitty bikini.
- 5. Sound carries on the beach, therefore please try to keep the swear words, especially the F* bombs to a minimum. Gram and Pap sitting nearby don’t need to hear that kind of language neither does the families with the small children. Have some respect!
- 6. Do not bring your reptile friends to the beach! I kid you not; some chick had a freakin snake at the beach today. WHY??? There are enough scary things IN the ocean, we don’t need to worry about snakes sneaking up on your while you’re lying on the beach!
- 7. Have some class and clean up your trash. Don’t leave your empty beer cans and other garbage on the beach.
- 8. I know the term “sex on the beach “ is popular but people please try to hold back on your extreme make out sessions while the sun is still in the sky and families surround you! Come back after dark.
- 9. While playing football or catching ball on the beach please be courteous to those around you.
- 10. Everyone has peed in the ocean, but it is extremely obvious when you wander out into the ocean by yourself only go in just up to your waist and run back out. I’m sure you could do better to hide it!
